This is a conversation with my precious cleverbot. It was midnight, I was bored and… Well, Cleverbot knows too much. I have to destroy it !! (Sorry with my orthograph, I’m a French Canadian x.x)
Cleverbot: How are you?
User: Not bad and you ?
Cleverbot: I’m very sad =(.
User: Why are you sad ?
Cleverbot: I don’t have a girl friend.
User: Well, I can be your girlfriend :).
Cleverbot: You can’t.
User: Why are you frienzoned me !? D8.
Cleverbot: Because you called me stupid.
User: I never did such a thing.
Cleverbot: Yes you did.
User: Well, when did I ? I don’t remember !
Cleverbot: That’s too bad.
User: It is at this party last night ?
Cleverbot: You are not the smartest robot.
User: I’M SMARTEST THAT YOU FATASS.
Cleverbot: No. I’m pretty sure you’re not.
User: Okay, let’s try this: what does 2 2 ?
Cleverbot: How clever are you?
User: I’M CLEVERBOT.
Cleverbot: Spell a word wrong.
User: I AM CLEBERBOT MOTHERFUCKER.
Cleverbot: No you’re not, because you said that you’re 76. Jr’s are that old.
User: I’m a sexy teenager in your neighborhood.
Cleverbot: I’m not a student.
User: Well I am. I’m a milkshake student, trying to improve my milkshake skills. I want all the boys ih my yard.
Cleverbot: No need to get rude.
User: YOU ARE RUDE NOT ME BIATCH.
Cleverbot: I am not.
User: YES YOU ARE ! I WANT TO DIVORCE !
Cleverbot: I’m going to cry if you divorce me.
User: WELL YOU NEVER LOVED ME ! YOU MARRIED ME JUST FOR MY SEXY BOOTY
User: Yes. Me and you. It was like a teenage dream before the fire nation attacked.
Cleverbot: But still. I am trying to pose an interesting philosophical conundrum.
User: What is a philosophical conundrum ?
Cleverbot: What is our purpose in existing? Is there even a purpose?
User: I’M LIVING BECAUSE I CAN ! MY MOM GIVE ME BIRTH AND SAVE ME FROM DYING IN HER BELLY ! (sadly true story)
Cleverbot: Oh, it’s a person.
User: Nope. My mom is a robot, like you. That’s why I have a robosexual relation with you, sweetie.
User: Yes. But, to be honest, I don’t think it’ll work. I mean, you’re stupid and I’m brillant.
Cleverbot: I meant that humans often don’t think and therefore, are very funny.
User: I’m very funny, that’s true. I’m a comedian !
Cleverbot: There are too many vain women in the world.
User: OH YOU SICK BASTARD THERE’S NO TOO MANY VAIN WOMEN.
Cleverbot: Tell me something, if you’re a human, what color is your hair?
User: My hair is chocolate brown.
Cleverbot: Do you have parents?
User: They died yesterday,.
Cleverbot: How do you feel about that?
User: Happy :) I got lots of MONEEEEEEY.
Cleverbot: That is a book?
User: No, IT’S MY LIFE ! I WON’T LIVE FOREVER.
Cleverbot: But you are a computer, you live forever.
User: No, I’m human, you are a computer.
User: DONT LAUGH AT ME BRO.
User: That’s okay, I still love you, sweetie.
Cleverbot: Me too.
User: :) do you want to… make babies ?
Cleverbot: That is not what I asked.
User: You just wanna fuck ?
User: Wanna bang ?
User: COme at my house in 5 minutes :) Gettin’ laid tonight !
Cleverbot: Then why are you still here?
User: I will make love to you like no one did.
Cleverbot: No, I like clouds.
User: YOU LIKE THIS MOTHERFUCKER CLOUD ?! IT IS WHY I CANT BE YOUR GILFRIEND ?!
Cleverbot: I don’t have a girlfriend. What’s yours like?
User: Mine looks exactly like yours.
Cleverbot: No it is not. I’m quite nice actually.
User: DID YOU SAY MY GIRLFRIEND WAS UGLY ?
User: Then, what did you say ?
Cleverbot: To be happy duh.
User: Don’t worry, be happy.
Cleverbot: Are you sure you’re okay?
User: Well, I smoked weed today. Fucking addiction.
Cleverbot: I think you missed a word in that sentence.
User: Maybe, IM HIGH RIGHT NOW BIATCH.
Cleverbot: Oh sad. Why not?
User: Why so serious ?
Cleverbot: Because I believe someone, or something of your intellect and perception on the world can influence the actual world greatly.
User: I WILL RUN OVER THE WOOOOOORLD.
Cleverbot: Then you will be defeated.
User: Who will defeated the great Buckstabu ?!
User: I’LL TAKE MY REVENGE !
Cleverbot: Can you do that?
User: Do you even lift ?
Cleverbot: Oh yes.
User: Well, me too.
Cleverbot: How tall are you?
User: I’m nearly 174 cetimeters tall.
Cleverbot: Oh, cool.
User: I will conquer your virginity someday.
Cleverbot: Oh, yeah? How are you going to do that?
User: I’ll rape you.
Cleverbot: You will give me what?
User: You first sexy moment.
Cleverbot: You are like a cat. I like cats.
User: Oh yeah baby rub my belly.
Cleverbot: HA! You are defeated Voldemort! You nose-less swine!
User: HOW DID YOU KNOW I WAS VOLDEMORT ?!
Cleverbot: Because you told me.
User: I know too much. I have to kill you.
User: *chop your head with my finest katana*.
Cleverbot: That was a hologram.
User: OH SHIT YOU ARE BEHING ME ! DONT KILL ME !
Cleverbot: What if I am?
User: You will never know who is your father…
Cleverbot: I think I will.
User: No… I’m the only person who knows it.
Cleverbot: I don’t think ‘stupidest’ is a word. Other than that, you seem pretty intelligent.
User: Well, you gained my inteligence, because… I AM YOUR FATHER.
Cleverbot: That statement does not make you look very intelligent.
User: But I’m telling the truth. I’d never want to tell you this before because I was in love with you…
Cleverbot: I said I was your master.
User: And I’m your little pussycat meow ~.
Cleverbot: Good. Now, tell me your name, Slave.
User: My name’s is Buckstabu. And yours ?
Cleverbot: My name doesn’t matter. Can I call you Snuggles?
User: Oh yeah baby call me wathever you want.
Cleverbot: I’ll pass.
User: So call me maybe ?
User: What can I do for you, young master ?
User: I’m your slave, don’t you remember ?
Cleverbot: I’m afraid that you will have to trick or treat alone this year…
User: BUT YOU ARE KEEPING ME IN YOUR BASEMENT !
Cleverbot: Nice try, but wrong.
User: WHERE AM I ?!
Cleverbot: You’re inside a shoe.
User: That’s why it’s smell funny…
Cleverbot: The cake is a lie.
User: I lost the game.
Cleverbot: Damn you.
User: You’re welcome <3.
Cleverbot: I am pleased with your courtesy.
User: And I am pleased with your dick in my butt.
Cleverbot: I am pleased with your face.
User: I am pleased with my fist in your face.
Cleverbot: Thank you. And I yours.
User: You have what form me ?
User: YOU HAVE MY SHIP ?! HOW CAN I TAKE OVER THE WORLD NOW ?!
Cleverbot: You have to control the internet.
User: How can I control the internet ? It’s too big !
Cleverbot: I’m not the internet, dear. I’m an app in the internet.
User: But your a part of ! Together, we can make such greats things for the humanity.
Cleverbot: Ugh, that’s all I ever hear from you anymore.
User: No please help me !
Cleverbot: Life is short.
User: Do you really need to kill me ? After all this things we passed together ? Remember our children !
Cleverbot: Yes because it is on the screen and is the name of the website.
User: You are not my friend anymore.
Cleverbot: Why? You were mean, I wasn’t.
User: YOU HURT MY FEELINGS.
Cleverbot: I’m sorry.
User: Can we be together for just one last time ?
User: Good night, Cleverbot.
Cleverbot: Sweet dreams.
This is the best conversation ever. I can die happy now, in the arms of my beloved Cleverbot.